It’s time to start telling stories about people–let the dirt out, if you will. The only rule is that there are no rules. And everyone will have a codename.
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As I was walking down the stairs, I was singing Jack Johnson’s “If I Had Eyes” to myself. My feet were making a little bit of noise and no danger was evident. We were packing up stuff to head to camp and as I turned the corner, Superhero was waiting. Crouched in the storage room he struck.
His weapon: a dodgeball. His method: brutality.
As his projectile attack hit my nether regions I let out the illegitimate child of a shriek and a yelp. Then, quickly regaining my composure I took the ball and threw it back at him. Softly enough, however, that I could still justify revenge.
The day ended and I had no oppurtunities. Then, at the beginning of the next day my oppurtunity came. Jazzercise 1000 and I had to stretch. And by stretch I mean dance.
And by dance I mean put our groove thing down.
And Superhero was there. I quickly reasoned that public humiliation for no apparent reason was the safest and surest way to have my way. So, as I chicken-flapped and bicycle kicked, I invited Superhero out to join us. Then I unleashed something terrible upon him: rapid-fire dance moves to the tune of Michael Sembello’s “Maniac.”
It was glorious. Freestyle Disco. The Thriller move. Tricep-a-Go-Go. The Walking, Sliding Man. The aforementioned chicken-flap-bicycle-kick combo. He was left in the dust. My cohort, the amazing Jazzercise 1000, just figured it was all in good fun. But I knew. I knew I had won. I knew when I saw the look in his eyes as dance move after dance move came that his defeat was ushering in my victory. And then it happened…
If you have never experienced a moment like this then I must say you are lucky. In one simoultaneous maneuver, Superhero shut off the music, looked and me, and said, “Well done. Good work. Those were some sweet moves.” He enjoyed it?!?
So now I head back to the drawing board. Superhero’s day is coming… and when it does, Michael Sembello will certainly be a part of it. Count on it.
